snake eater during break time

Fuck lah, I type so much then Blogger login expired. It didn't save the rest. Now I have to retype half this post and I have a lousy short term memory. Shit I'm supposed to be finishing my hour break too.

Just having an hour break at work, I get this kind of break because my hours are long. I wasn't feeling hungry, so I just skip the dinner and came upstairs to use the office computer. (Everyone can use anyway as long they don't hog it.) Spent the time making minor tweaks to my blog layout, and typing this post out.

But, bah. I sometimes struggle to type down the words I need to say. You can call it a writer's block. Or it's because my mind wanders to someone I like. Quite a lot has happened the past 3 months. Seeing her for the first time, and in her specs which she usually doesn't wear. Then, got to know her over Friendster. And the rest came soon by. Well, it was pretty eventful. Too bad, it doesn't work out yet. She is currently thinking of another guy.

I guess I will probably wait. If I don't get her, I probably never will get another girl. I will probably stay single all my life if it comes down to that. She's one of the nicest girls I have ever seen, not like the other girls in Singapore. I guess that is what probably attracted me to her. As well as her smile.

It's just that jealousy do get the better of me. I guess that can be the source of my sadness. I also can be pretty delusional too. I always think positive and self-centered things that happen to me when it's actually the opposite things that happen. People either never talk to me or seem disinterested in me.

Sigh.

I wish someone would kill me so I can be released from this wretched life. Then again, does the Afterlife exist or I just simply disappear from existence? Complete darkness can be scary.